New beginnings
A brand new year, Winter in full swing and a self-powered artist residency.
Winter I have missed you! I am very fond of this time of the year, Winter is usually seen as a moment for reflection, for looking inwards while nature reminds you to slow down. And yet I feel a huge push towards change, to start anew. Everything seems more attainable at the beginning of a new year, before reality and modern anxieties kick in. I want to channel this energy and ride it for as long as it lasts.
How have I been?
A mixed bag would be the honest answer, I’ll try to explain why. To put it simply, I don’t feel that being a photographer is the right path for me sometimes. And by that I mean being a photographer “by trade”. I’d be lying if I said work went well last year, it has been very slow. The lack of work made me miserable and deprived me of the very joy of taking pictures, the reason I got into it in the first place. Truthfully, I have never seen myself as a photographer by trade, I have other skills that allow me to find alternative ways to support myself therefore lack of work wasn’t strictly a financial issue, it has been a mental health and confidence problem more than anything else. This side of the business isn’t talked about enough in the photo community, especially on social media where it feels as if everyone is just constantly nailing it when it comes to career goals and recognition. I want to share my struggles because I ultimately want this space to be a realistic portrayal of an artists journey. And struggles are a huge part of that.
And boy did I struggle.
In 2024 everyone seemed to get dreamy assignments, everyone was winning prestigious awards and getting solo shows, everyone had a photo book out that sold more copies than mine. I was sliding slowly in a black hole of self pity and self doubt every minute I was looking at a screen. Most of all, I was obsessing about missed opportunities and comparing myself to my peers which in return led me to a massive creative block.
Lack of recognition, real or perceived, can be a painful issue for creatives and made me lose faith in what I was doing and, most importantly, why. I hated that I craved recognition so much. I thought I was better than that.
Of course I was totally looking at things in the wrong way, upside down so to speak. Instead of focusing on my work I was putting myself down before I could give it a real chance to grow. Unable to enjoy my practice and labelling it “worthless”, I allowed my toxic inner voice to overwhelm my artistic soul, betraying my true nature.
And enjoying the process is such a huge part of an artist journey. It’s everything!
After understanding this simple concept I started working on changing my mindset to accommodate a more playful, fun and self-loving approach, creating work for myself as the main and only goal. I still fall into old traps sometimes but it has been good to work without the added weight of expectations lately.
UPDATES
Desert solitaire art residency
Tired of applying for artist residencies that didn’t quite offer what I am looking for, I saved a bunch of cash, carved some time off and organized my own! My partner and I are currently travelling through the US Southwest in our beloved converted Jeep, wild camping and spending as much time in the desert as I need to create new work.
On this trip I am getting the right amount of solitude I need to really tune in with myself, I met interesting folks with the same passion for geology and fossils, I get to cook outside on an open fire and go on endless hikes in the backcountry. I am a desert rat to the core and this time in my beloved landscapes has been leaving me inspired and grateful. Overall I feel extremely fortunate to be able to set aside a good chunk of my time to explore my creative practice and it’s something I plan to do every year or for as long as I can. This time I got given didn’t go to waste so far and my creativity is finally starting to bounce back. Currently working on two bodies of work simultaneously, both long term and unreleased. Both really exciting. Cannot wait to share more about them in the future as they take shape.
Saved by a deer on BOOM SALOON
The lovely folks at Boom Saloon recently ran a feature on my upcoming book and on-going series, Saved by a deer. You can have a read below to read more about the project here.
The book is still in pre-order at this link and will be printed in the Spring so expect more updates on it in the next newsletter. And I wanted to send a heartfelt thank you to those of you that already pre-ordered my book in a year so filled with insanely talented photographers releasing stunning photo books. Your support means literally everything to me and I cannot wait for you to see this passion project of mine in physical form.
Places and things that stole my heart lately
San Rafael Swell, Utah
Miles and miles of dirt roads, lots of history, abandoned mines and rugged desert terrain. It has been a pleasure to spend a few days in the area for my birthday in December, exploring dirt roads and marvelling at ancient petroglyphs and rock formations. I have been so keen with the place that I am planning to return later this month for longer adventures, camping along the way of course.
Thank you so much for reading !
Moving forward I would love this to be a safe space for discussion. If you are also struggling with the ups and downs of an artistic career and would love to enrich this conversation in any way let me know your thoughts in the comments! Would love to keep this topic going and always happy to chat 🖤
Chiara
I feel you on this one. Like a lot of years working in the arts always had it was ups and downs, but this year felt more turbulent. Had some of most fulfilling projects of my career so far but the consistency is just so off at the moment. Hoping to take some of your energy into the new year after a sleepy couple of months this winter.
Glad to hear you've found your feet again out in the desert, I'm actually reading Desert Solitaire at the moment! Was recommended a lot of desert literature whilst on the PCT.
Look forward to seeing more of these projects, as always your images are the essence of the desert. Beautiful light and colours.
Firstly, I am pleased to hear that despite all the challenges you faced, you found your own creative way to combat them and that you are doing so well.
The way you see things have inspired me throughout my own photography 🫶🏼This was a very rewarding morning read.
I suppose I suffer from the other end of the stick. Having to pay the bills, and finding less time for the creative side of things (slowing down and seeing things with a new perspective).